It’s the end of the year
Yet so much to do
I got to put my past mistakes behind and move forward
But there’s this one thing that is still holding meback
I got to forgive that fella that never even said sorr
How do you even heal the heart that was so broken
Where do you even start when your heart and mind
Are just an entangled web

Well 2018was like whisky
When it started I was salivating and the urge
To open it was itchy
Six months down the line and I couldn’t hold the urge anymore
So I opened and I tasted it
The bitterness cut through my taste buds
And it burned my throat like hell
Well this couldn’t stop me from finishing my bottle of whisky

Month by month I got intoxicated
I felt the pain cutting through each part of my body
But hey who cared what I did
It was tough I lost some friends in the process
Those who stood by me just had to pray and wait for a miracle
Because I was drowning in my own sorrows

I sobered up and here I am now
Learnt the lesson and moving on
It still aches but its better than remaining there
So 2019 will be a good drink
No hurry
Taking a day at a time
And when it’s time to celebrate this time around
I need something smooth, something sweet
A drink that will remind me that life is worth everything
So brace yourself and leave it all behind



I believed i love and everything that tales said about it
I remember when i was ten love was so pure
I had friends that would give anything just to keep the bond
Until i grew older and started seeing things fall apart
From the world i thought i knew as a kid
To what my naked eyes saw and my tiny ears heard

It was devasting
People lied through their teeth
And smiled just to lure people into their traps
Some went ahead to even stain their hands with blood
Just to get rich and wealthy
Relationships became a barter trade
You give me some i get you a ring

With all this insanity i ran to where comfort lies
The church
Where i thought i would find peace i found chaos
People fighting for top places in leaderships
Instead of love i found hatred
People isolated themselves from the less fortunate
This clouded my mind and i didnt even know who to turn to

No one believes in anyone or anything anymore
The world has become a place only for the rich
If you cant find your up then u nothing
Dreams are being crushed
Opportunities used so recklessly
The one thing left is YOU

Who do YOU believe in
Who do YOU put your trust in
How strong is YOUR faith
How often do you go down on your knees
And have a conversation with God

We have become too proud to even go down on our knees
Too stubborn to confess our sins
Our egos too big to ask for His Mercies
Our heads too knowledgable thinking we can overcome Him
I hope that one day
We will be too small to let the bigger one take us through
Humble enough to let Him guide us
Soft spoken to give Him a chance to speak

As I decrease May He increase


Sometimes the journey seems impossible to finish

Commitments become hard to accomplish

Dreams become impossible to fulfil

The path we travel

Tends to be wide

Giving a million paths to tread on
Yet only one will get you to your destination

When we all were born we had friends we could die for

As we continued growing older the list of friends became lesser

Our contact lists have names of people

Whom if today we got into circumstances that forced us to ask for help

We will all be stuck on who to give a call

In my opinion friends are like seasons

They come and go

And unfortunately some never come back

To fulfil our purpose we need to shed off

Some things or even some people

It ain’t easy but it has to be done

There are times you will just be quiet and observe people

Most times you would wish you could scream to let it all out

To fulfil your purpose in this life

Doesn’t matter which purpose

Either God’s purpose or your personal purpose

You will have to go to war

So brace yourself

Keep your head up high

Because it ain’t for the faint hearted

When the battle field gets too crowded
Close your eyes and just whisper

Clear the battle field for me and

(God) He will do just that

Lilian Mueni

Patience, Perseverance, Humility and above all Prayer

Will help you move any kind of mountain or deep sea

In your mission to achieving your purpose


How amazing it is to know that there is someone who loves you unconditionally

That we do not need to go through a process to have His love

How amazing it is that He is slow to anger and He is always all forgiving


The world is full of baggage

Damaged is what it is

Without Christ all is vanity

In a world full of things that even thinking about it just sends thrills to your body

What have we come to?

Where are we heading

Who will save human kind from the snares of the enemy?


The command that God gave humans was to multiply

But we have turned the sacred thing SEX into a game of cards

Everyone is doing it and the fact that everyone is doing it in public is even sadder

Why can’t we protect our morals, dignity our very most secret components of our bodies?

Ladies have become an open book rather than a mystery for a man to solve

Men now have become so reckless to an extend of using a doll to quench their desires

What happened to the notion that a man was the Church?

Our bodies are the temple of God but now I see they have been housing for bad spirits



We should endeavor to do just that

Be holy, build a relationship with God and our ultimate goal should be to see the Kingdom of God

The world is just a temporary home

Our home is in heaven

Hence walk with caution

Think twice

Go deep into prayer

Fight your battles on your knees

And I assure you whatever you need

Whatever you require

He knows about it and He will provide

His timing is the best





Life has a lot of things in store for us 
There are times we feel we not good enough

Like everyone is having the bigger and sweetest part of the cake than us

And we always think that we are never getting out of that miserable place

But guess what that just your imagination playing minds games on you

People will come into your life and trust me it is magical and the best moment ever

But guess what one day they will leave you and it will be the loneliest day ever
Many of them we would have grown fond of but letting them go is the hardest thing ever

I have been there when life got tough

The people i loved so much just left without a goodbye

Others left and came back making the process very hard to endure

I hold on to things,people and events and the result was bad

I lost touch with my life

Everything i did was no fun

Things i loved and people i met just made me hide in my cacoon of comfort

I was afraid to love,afraid to try new things out

Sooner or later i was going to loose touch with who i am
It aint easy getting over all that broken things 

But trust me it will break you and u will loose touch with life

Hence i took a step

Started deleting numbers, pictures,messages and people too

There are people in our life that are just zombies

When u need them there is always a good excuse not to show up on every situation

You do not need zombies in your life

You do not need show up kind of people in your life

It is better of to sail alone than with a bunch of fake beings

When i did that and took a step i believe my better days are coming

Cheers to a new life


People say life is all about friends and love, i strongly agree. 

Life has its ups and downs and we always need a close friend we can confide in and cry our heart out to. Have we ever asked ourselves why many young people commit suicide or tend to engage in funny activities and behaviors?? This is because we don’t choose our friends wisely and we tend to go with groups rather than what this person is without a group. If we chose friends keenly we wouldn’t have to undergo stress or have to ever think of suicide. This is why i chose to write about this.

Sometimes being a loner is a good thing. You do not have to keep up with their temper when they are upset or fix yourself in their schedule or have to force them to hear you out when you need someone to hear you out and also you don’t have to please anyone at any one time. Being a loner has also its disadvantages you tend to be lonely, bored, have no one to share your problems with or hang out with when you are free. Many young people in today’s generation like taking advantage of other people, I think it’s high time people thought of others and put themselves in their shoes and know how it feels to be always ignored, rejected and yet this is the same person you run to when all your peers don’t appreciate you. It’s high time we stopped keeping ghost friends if you do not want someone to be your friend just tell them openly instead of hurting them and letting them waste their energy pleasing you.

People become friends as a coincidence but never do we force them to be best friends. Someone calls you a sister but in return you nickname them a ghost! A ghost that cared, never ashamed to stand by you despite all you throw at them, maybe sometimes they are dead souls they only awaken when summoned. A time comes when this ghost that they have now become will just go back to where it belongs. I guess on their way they’ll meet Casper the friendly ghost and in him they’ll find all the lost ghosts, just like souls find rest they will also find rest sooner and just like Casper the friendly ghost they’ll find their pair. We should never give up but take life as it comes, if it gives you lemons make lemonade out of it. If we have friends and aren’t comfortable who we feel like ghosts it’s high time we walked out and became free spirits. 

They say time heals all and we never know maybe there is someone who needs such a friend and are just waiting for you to knock on their door and everything will fall into place.

The best of friends one can ever have is a mother. Most people are not close to their mother but it is advisable to always keep our mothers always at reach. There are situations in life when we cannot even talk to our closest friends but there’s always one person who you can tell anything and will never judge you or feel uncomfortable about you. This one person is our mother, she’ll never be a ghost and never be a seasonal friend she will always be an all time friend. 

A true friend should be like a mother: when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us, when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us; still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. These are the actions of a true friend I just hope we all find that one true friend.


When you look at me 
I seem to look so strong and can handle anything

 YES I can with God who strengthens me

But I wish iy all came that easy
It’s never about the fight or the race 

It’s always about how you finish it 

And such is life 

It’s never about the good things in life but the scars that make us who we are 

Some have turned into monsters, others have shyed away 

Yet others have fallen into deep addiction 

I wish it was all perfect 
The struggle is indeed real 

The pain so real 

Confusion so high 

Fear so intense 

And the reality of life so clear

I wish it didn’t have to be this real
There are times 

I’m just too strong 

That the worst thing I do

Is fall down on my knees

Tears all over my face 

The pain so deep for me to even breathe 

And all that comes from my heart is

Daddy I can’t do this anymore 

I wish to be lifted this burden 
Temptations was high 

The ability to say no to the urges of the body was growing weak 

The right sense of mind to seive things became permeable 

The strength to be strong for others started growing weak

But the faith never left me 

Despite how heavy I felt 

How confused and broken I was

I knew someone was watching 
It’s okay to give it all to Christ 

It’s okay to tell Daddy that it’s too heavy 

It’s OK to admit that you are weak 

It’s okay to go down and cry to Him

Because at the end of the day He will take it all over and everything will be restored 
On the 24th of August I felt heavy and I was dealing with so much emotional wounds and the fact that I needed to be strong not to fall. Every kind of difficulty a single mother had to go through was what I was battling with. From dating the right man to being the best mother to having a job to cater for both our needs. It was hard especially the dating part being able to say no to people and to some staff it needed a lot of courage and intervention from God and still does. I am human and on this day I realised I was weak, exhausted and had too much baggage I needed to release and all of a sudden I was on my knees crying asking God to take it all away it was too much for me to handle. It didn’t work out that fast because it was too much my heart was busting and each tear drop was a symbol of the pain that was inside me and when my heart felt light and no tear was in my eyes anymore I felt relieved and all weight was lifted from me. 
God is real He’s present everywhere 

And His love is not only Amazing but Perfect 

All I wish to do is to be strong in my faith in Him and be able to live a righteous life pleasing only Him. 


There are times when life stops and all you can see and hear are heartbeat and your own reflection 

Times when you need to observe others in order to make sense of some things
Times when you need to just sit be silent and watch
Those times are when I get a pen and paper
Write a thing or two
Change a few things in my life
And press the play button
 Life is beautiful 
Many times a movie
 A scene can be dramatic others very sad and at times very happy
 Pause for a moment and press the rewind button 
So far how does your movie life look like
 I laugh at times because my movie life 
Looks like a zombie movie
At times I just stare and I am just stuck
Many times I am thinking and writing at the same time
And above all I turn to be an audience and just observe other people’s movie
Because from there I learn and make amends on my side 
Life is beautiful
 Life is amazing  
 Life is a movie
Life is life
And that’s why every single day 

You should act a different scene and have different characters to your life

Joh 1:4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.


It seemed like a dream; A nightmare
Him in sight made my heart beat faster, and my hair stood at attention
I froze.
Just like a child being reprimanded I shrunk at the corner waiting for a beating.
This was how I felt whenever I thought of hi or whenever he came near me….

The first time we met he treated me like a princess
He was my missing rib I thought
No one could convince me otherwise
He always said he could never lay a hand on me nor put another woman before me
I fell for his sweet words and being treated like a royalty blinded my eyes

I was finally his wife….. No one could snatch him from so I thought
My dream wedding was granted…..
I looked like a princess and definitely felt like one
Then……. Started my horror story

He started coming home late, whenever he was around he was always in a bad mood
I thought I was the one so I did everything to keep him happy
From going to extend of doing things I never thought of doing
I satisfied his desires but never did I know I was loosing myself
When did it ever stop being about ME?

The more I tried to keep him happy the more the beast in me arose
I became bitter whenever I was alone,
I felt empty, lost, devasted and felt like running away from the world
I was nothing to him,
I tried convincing myself to move out
But something kept telling me he would change
He started hitting me and forcing himself on me
Worst thing I let him do it all
It was o longer about making love but I was being molested
How and I was his wife

He made it a habit
My body got used to it
My heart didn’t feel a thing
I didn’t hate him I loathed him

His touch was that of a stranger
His kisses were one hell of a moment
I wanted to run say it to the world what I was going through
But who would believe a married woman could go through all this

This night shrunk on the corner waiting for another trip to hell
I thought of killing him but it wasn’t in me
When he touched me I got the courage to push him off
Lightning hit me hard on the face and I was unconscious

Did he know what he was doing to me?
He became a monster and that monster wanted a partner
Should I unleash it?


Just because i dont have an arm
doesnt mean i cannot fly
touch the sky and achieve my dreams
just because i dont have legs or cant walk
i crawl in streets means u can just stumble on me
i have a dream,i got talent,i got intelligence
its just that you dont believe in me and
give me the chance to show you what i’m capable of
i am a human being
and despite of my disability dont take it to be my weakness

i am blind,i cannot talk,i got a disability
but still i got something in me that i wanna show the world that
i am able and capable
if only u give the chance and believe in me
i will move mountains and become somebody
a little laughter,appreciation and belief will prove that
my disability is not really my weakness